2015 has been a year of firsts for me. A year that will always be in my mind. I don't know but I have always liked the number 5 so when I see the digit 5 in any number it resonates with me. Maybe it is because my year of birth had a 5 as well. I turned 30 this year. The big 30. It is the age that you are now assumed to have matured or fully become an adult. It is the age that it dawns on you that you are not a child any more. It is the age that you start seeing articles written specifically for your age as if you did not exist before.
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| Posts like this pop up when you hit 30 |
Finally you are recognized as an adult. Finally somebody sees you as a grown up capable of his own decisions. I have always felt 'older' than I really am but was constantly betrayed by my small body frame making me appear even younger than I really am. I associated myself with people older than me and I just wanted to be older. I have lived feeling 'trapped' in an age that does not belong to me. I felt older. I envied older peeps. They have the benefit of experience and all the good things happened to them. When you sit among the older guys they talk of the times when fuel was Kshs 45 bob a litre. Like for real, 45 bob?! wow..I would fill my Starlet tank with less than Kshs 1500. Don't tell me about sijui the value of the shilling then was good..blah blah...that is what we say when we want to feel that we are not doing as badly as it seems. In any case, 45 bob is cheap. That was the time to be alive. These guys were adults when a quarter an acre of land in Juja, Ruiru heck even Karen was under Kshs 200,000. Now some of them own these parcels of land and would sell to us, the younger peeps for more than 10 times the price they bought them. Where was I when these things were happening? Oh I was in primary school thinking of passing KCPE and appearing in the newspaper and being asked what I would like to be when I grow up. Sigh. Now if I want land I have to think of Kajiado and other parts of land that have 'promise' of becoming big cities in the years to come. Possibly in 2045?? I will be 60 then...wacha ikae...These guys are first in line to be considered for jobs and the younger peeps like me would be asked to wait for their turn. They are the guys who have 10 years of work experience when they are starting out and applying for the same job you are. My millennial comrades refuse to wait in line and go solo and start up their own businesses. I feel that people my age have been patronised and addressed with condescending attitudes for being too 'daring' and ambitious. When we were kids we would always say, 'when I grow up, I would like...' now we are grown. 30 is the age we were talking about. This is the age when you are all grown up. This is the age now that I do not want to be older. I want it to linger. The world is lining up for the 30 year olds...for the new breed on the block. The guys who do not play by the rules..the guys who just don't care for labels. They think out of the box and would do anything to match up to the 'older' peeps. It feels good to be 30. Long live 30...I am just getting started with life and now the world is at our feet for us 30 year olds...It is the perfect age where you are neither too old nor too young. You are just right! Sorry to all those who are younger or older. You have had your turn or for you who is 29, your turn is coming. Let us, let me glory in this, well at least for the next 6 months.
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| Enjoy the moment |
Well 2015 was not all about age...or was it? There is the other big thing about me becoming a father, a fact I blogged about here. A big thing indeed. I love my son. I thank God for him. It is as if God took the best parts of me and the best parts of Sylvia and gave us Triple N. He is the best version of Sylvia and I. The little guy is just too awesome...a mini me...that is growing everyday....He likes to speak in tongues. A language he acquired from heaven from whence he came and has been trying to learn the language we speak here on earth. Nevertheless...we understand each other..sometimes..but we do..Now I envy his age..he has the whole world ahead of him. He can be anything he wants to be. He can be a football player, a musical genius, a coder, an artist..anything he wants to be. For some of us..that time passed. While I love football, I cannot start a football career now, that bus passed with Mourinho in it. For him, the journey has just began. I am privileged to be the one to guide him so help me God. Like me it was a year of firsts for him, first jab, first crawl, first roll, first el-nino, first christmas...and now in a few hours his first new year. All the best son!
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| My First Born Son, NNN |
I went back to school in 2015 to pursue my Masters degree. I am happy I waited 7 years from my first degree to do this. I have more clarity now...better understanding of what I want to be and any decision I would have taken regarding my studies before 2015 would probably have been a wrong one. I owe this epiphany to turning 30...maybe?..maybe not. This academic journey has just began for me and I pray that God helps me to finish it. It is one that I believe will unlock and unleash my full potential. I hope to one day share my own journey of finding my self and being comfortable in my own skin akin to my success story. One of my 'resolutions' for 2015 was to increase my knowledge and I am happy to have done this in 2015. We grow by learning and the moment we stop learning, we stop growing. I hope that 2016 we get to use our brains more and I mean that in all sincerity. My son deserves the best version of me to raise him up. I owe him that. In pursuit of my full potential I inadvertently challenge him to be the same.
Like every life cycle, we marry and we bury and in 2015, the curtains finally came down for my grandfather. He was 95 years old. That was a low moment for us as a family but we are comforted to know he lived a full life. My tribute to his legacy can be found here. The inevitability of life guarantees that we will have moments of joy and sadness in 2016. All I hope for is that we do have more joys than sadness in 2016. This realization makes me know that life is indeed a privilege and as long as I have breath, I will make the best of it. Tell that to my younger version of myself, I would have dismissed you as patronizing and condescending to me and my feelings. Hehe. I would say that you do not understand my struggles and that you have it all together and that is why you are saying these things. The folly of being young...all in its stride..a necessary phase..nay a necessary evil. We should all have episodes of teleporting and speaking to our younger or older selves. It will jolt you back to reality and put life in perspective.
ICYMI my support for my beloved Manchester United has been tested this year. I have had to accommodate taunts, ridicule and even sarcasm from all quarters including my house.
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| ridicule from all over.. |
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| Threats.. |
ION, I do pray that in 2016, the church in Kenya will assert itself and be a beacon of hope. A lighthouse for this nation. God knows we do need some change. I pray that we take our salvation seriously and walk the talk. In so doing we will gain the respect of outsiders and challenge them to be different. The scandals in the church and the jokes on the church really should stop in 2016. We should look inwardly and stop the rot, the mess. Let us do a clean up in-house and cover one another instead of exposing each other in the public domain. I look forward to the day that the church will be the highest institution in the land. The go-to place. The moral compass of the society. It is coming but only if we pay the price. Pay the price long enough to get the prize.
Well...I have to be blogging more in 2016. I have a lot to say...now that am 30:-) It is my turn to speak. I would like to cap it off as Juan Mata does in his blog posts with 'hugs' but the more he says 'hugs' the more MUFC loses. I mean who really ends a post with 'hugs'?? I shall not be perpertrate this slump with such endings. 'Release' is a better antonym.
Happy new year 2016!
